simples.

It seems like for the foreseeable future, I'm going to be writing a new blog every day. Everything now seems to frustrate me on TV, whether it be the stupid adverts which each decide to waste about 30 seconds of my life, or the shitty TV programs which can waste even more. Sometimes I can just sit here thinking, "why the fuck am i watching this?" but then carry on watching it anyway. I also find myself shouting things at the TV. For example when watching the olympics, an event like the equestrian will come on and the person riding the horse will knock off the bails on the jump and i'll shout, "just bloody go over the jump, how hard can it be?" well, obviously, seeing as the professional couldn't even do it, pretty damn hard. I know nothing about the 'sport' so I should probably just keep my mindless opinions to myself, shouldn't I?

Also, what's with Countdown? The program is the dullest one out, I'm sure there's a load of 97 year old wrinklies who sit there unable to move, being haunted by the words "yeah, I'll have 4 vowels and 5 consonants please" - how boring can a program get? It's got to be one for all the old biddies that have nothing better to do than shout out their new-founded five letter words which they've made from the mixture of letters available. Is it really any wonder that every time I watch it, I'm unable to get more than a word containing five letters, whereas my Grandma can always get seven, eight, or if she's on a roll even nine letter words. Getting one of those, well it's the highlight of her day. But come on, who wants to go on there to win a dictionary and a fucking teapot? Surely the loser should be the one receiving the dictionary, as they're obviously the one who needs to get to grips with the english language.

How about all these adverts? For example, let's look at the insurance claim adverts. "Paul was at work, on the hundredth floor of a building cleaning the windows, when his ladder slipped and he fell and broke his leg, he was out of work for six months. Injurylawyers4u helped him claim back some of that money" - I mean, come on? Number one, it's his fucking fault the ladder slipped. Number two, I doubt he would only have suffered from a broken leg? Perhaps a broken body would seem more realistic? Yes, I'm trying to say he'd have died. Definitely. So don't come all that bullshit about how you helped him get back to work in six months, because he was dead wasn't he?! Yes.

How about compare the market, or compare the meerkat? I mean, that advert probably had half of this sad little country in stitches the first, second and maybe third time it was shown, but now it's just getting horribly irritating. "For cheap car insurance please go to compare the market.com" - is probably about the only line that advertises for comparethemarket.com - i mean who does that? Who sets up a website where you can compare meerkats? For what reason? I mean, there are some pretty cool meerkats on there, but I can't actually own any, so what's the point in the whole website? There isn't one, that's the thing. It's completely unnecessary. It advertises more for comparethemeerkat.com, which is just some stupid site made in an attempt to be funny. Well sorry to disappoint, but it fails in all aspects. Oh dear, are you on the wrong website? Did you mean to visit "www.comparethemarket.com?" - in that case, learn to fucking spell.

kk4urmum.

Right basically, I've entered this world of blogging to serve one purpose, to merk off anything that i feel is worth my merking off skills. I don't actually give a fuck about the website, let's be honest. But deep down in the pit of my stomach i'm a very angry child and need somewhere to let off my steam. If something interests me, or pisses me off, i will write about it. k?

I'm sick of I'm A Celebrity. Every motherfucking year I'm like "oh, wow. I'm A Celebrity's coming back on, let's all have a fucking party, why don't we just go and get some of that cheap shit in from Iceland and celebrate? Because that's all it really has to offer, isn't it?" Well, no. To be honest it doesn't even deserve a sing song from Jason Donovan to advertise it's stupidness. After the first two episodes, possibly three? If ITV get lucky. I'm sitting here, staring mindlessly at the TV, thinking "why am I even watching this bullshit?" because that's exactly what it is, bullshit. Who makes someone walk over to a vending machine, in the middle of a jungle, getting their hopes up by seeing all the colourful packaging staring back at them, only to crush their dreams by having a machine full of kangaroos bums. no. Ant and Dec, that's exactly who.

Why would you even think of blending a crocodiles foot, to make "crocodile foot smoothie?" It obviously doesn't contain a very nice taste, from the face Katie Price pulled when she had to drink it, does it? So what was the fucking point? I'm sure that dead crocodile isn't exactly going to be very proud of that is he? Not exactly the biggest accomplishment ever made by one member of that species. I'm sure he's not going to go down in the Guiness Book Of World Records for that one is he? I mean, at least he could have eaten every dull celebrity in that fucking jungle before being butchered so savagely, couldn't he? Maybe someone should train a crocodile to do that next year? What an idea that would be. But I've already faced the fact that that's never going to happen.

What's with Katie Price anyway? Who does she think she is? Agreeing to go on there (for a measly five hundred grand) then leaving after next to no time. I mean, personally I'd have tied her up and made her stay, maybe got that old crocodile's brother to come and eat her as payback? But then again, I'm all for "team Andre" - and as for the "anyone that voted for Katie to do the trial can get a full refund on the website after entering your full life story" bullshit. Who is actually going to give a shit about claiming back 30 odd pence? Probably some sad fuckers, but not me, oh no. That's for losers, but then again, what better am i? I sit in front of that TV for an hour every night gawping at the ridiculous antics displayed by these total idiots. I mean, I'm not even going to go in to them not being celebrities? I could go on there, and be just as well known, or unknown for that matter, as most of them are. Kfnxbai.